Big Man’s Bad Date Adventure #1, Part II

This is the continuation from part I, the following won’t make sense unless you read that one first.  Then again it still doesn’t make sense to me and I was there.

Where did we leave off?  Oh yes, I was in the midst of ignoring obvious red flags because a certain smaller anatomical area had hijacked the brain and was off on a selfish mission of  conquest.

Should I have taken her somewhat paranoid, delusional statements as a hint?  Does the fact that I used “somewhat” in the last sentence tell you anything at all?  Yes, I’m defensive.  So what if I’m trying to minimize my hormones impact on this debacle?

And the restaurant wasn’t so bad once I got past the nutty bits.  Have you ever heard of anyone spending FIFTEEN DOLLARS on a sushi date?  Well you have now… SERIOUSLY!  $11 on a rainbow roll, $2.50 for her Diet Coke… she had 2 bites of the roll then said she was full!  Gave ’em a $20 and didn’t ask for change back.  Girl thought I was the man.

I was reeling her in, had her crazy ass just where I wanted her!

…or so I thought  😦

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Big Man’s Bad Date Adventure #1, Part I

Here’s why I go to the gym ONLY to work out, trying to get some cutie’s digits never enters my mind.

Not anymore, anyway.

I SWEAR that this is a true story and by the time I get through you’ll understand that there’s only one person on the planet who would admit to being a participant.

Crap like this only happens to me.

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Dear Chapter 18

Dear Chapter 18,

I have been a neglectful bastard and I know this.  I learned to love you via Part 1 over a month ago but then I had to do something so ridiculously selfish and wrong that it will never be right…

I got a job.

But damn it all, I’m here to tell you…

Daddy’s home.

(“…to stay-ay-ayyyyyyyyyy…”  sorry… had a Jackson 5 flashback!)

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