“If you’re having blog problems, I feel bad for you son… I got 99 problems but a blog ain’t one!”
I started this post a week ago after my homegirl Lisa showed me video of two coworkers kinda not doing well with their “99 Problems” selection at karaoke. I responded by spitting the 2nd verse off the top of my head.
And as far as the next eight paragraphs from that night…
It’s amazing what two extra-large Long Island Ice Teas and a shot of Patron will do for your editing on a Saturday evening. I think I just saw the most boring Jason Statham movie ever. I don’t remember the name but Clive Owen and Robert DeNiro were in it.
Oh yeah, “Killer Elite”. It sucked!
The highlight? Dropped my trusty iPhone 3GS four times (from what I’ve heard, I only remember 2 of them), sucker stopped working… 100% charge and it gives the brand new, plug into iTunes cartoon on the screen. Funny part is that I just don’t care now, likely won’t care much tomorrow, either.
(Note: I went to my local Apple Store the next morning for a replacement, Apple Care paid off after all.)
I have a “hold me! / leave me alone!” relationship with the world… trying to find the perfect sense of equilibrium where I don’t grow tired of either. I don’t want to be attached to the world like a junkie to a spike and I’m stressing because I’ve been there before. Hope to live in the now, listen to what my soul asks for at a given moment.
Found out something interesting this past week: it was far easier to write when impoverished and depressed than when much happier and with enough cash to pay for life in Los Angeles. SO much easier to focus when I was broke, imagined the only way my life could ever be of value would be if I finished the story and became a professional writer.
But even moderate success breeds distraction. Money allows me to once again experience the world beyond the bare necessities of soap, deodorant, and toothpaste. Movies, drinks, sushi… very conscious of taking care of those who took care of me as well, though. I haven’t forgotten.
I’ll never forget.
Steve Jobs proved this past week how very precious and short life is. More money than he could ever spend and the best he could do was prolong his stay for a few years. Fifty-six… THAT’S IT! My brother-in-law Butch had prostate surgery less than two weeks ago, and he’s doing GREAT… not even fifty yet! I’m forty-four AND THE CLOCK IS TICKING! A healthy internal dialogue has played out in my mind these past few weeks and I think I found a new role model to aspire to in my final days (not that I intend nor nope to go leave the physical realm ANYTIME soon!)…
I’m just young enough to have missed The Beatles but I appreciate their music and how they managed to grow and stay relevant… created some sick art in their time! I’ve been in bands, and the most satisfying time was always on stage, kicking some poor crowd’s ass that got it…
It’s greater than an orgasm, I shit you not.
But I can’t EVEN imagine how good it must have been to write “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, my goodness! HBO has been showing a two-part documentary on George Harrison’s life called “George Harrison: Living in the Material World”.
GO AND WATCH IT NOW (it’s available via on-demand)! His was the definition of “life well lived”, it was amazing to see many of his close friends describe the love affairs that their respective friendships were with him. LOVED how the world painted him as some hippie mystic and all he was trying to do was have a closer relationship with God.
My connection with the Universe and blessings currently stem from being a good person (I try), exercising my gifts (writing, music) and paying forward all I received when I was penniless. Compassion enables me to experience life at a deeper level, had the greatest 4 minute conversation with a cashier at Trader Joe’s earlier this evening. He asked how my day was and I said, “Excellent… it was the perfect day. I got a lot done, and spent time with three of my best friends.”
His response? “Wow, that’s great! My day was excellent as well… very appreciative of my life, no complaints whatsoever.”
And I thought the day couldn’t get any better. Then Mom called…
So as I said in the beginning, I got 99 problems and a blog ain’t one. I had freaked out because I haven’t written much the past weeks but I’ve relaxed on that a bit. It’s all going according to plan, though… take the laptop to work a few days a week, been making progress and I feel a burst about to happen now that I’m settling into my “new” life.
I also have 18 chapters, 486 pages, and 81,461 words.
And no complaints.